2nd Epiphany of 2015

Apparently DISAPPEARING is the new goodbye in dating. C'est la vie is what I initially said but then I was like ... but what if he's dead... then I was like.. (a few mini donuts later) I should at least find out. 

I'd tried all the basic channels to discovery only to finally resort to my old Skool ways... as I told a new online friend I always FIND who I'm looking for... and sure enough... there he was... as good as GOLD... Sooooo apparently he was just FINISHED talking to me!
HAHAHAH
oooookay... what happened to goodbye. 

Well I'm a quick study and so I totally get it... I do... and I'm REAL GOOD with it. 

... and so with that thought I went to BED. 

Wow...there is nothing like solid sleep and a Luke warm shower to cause one to have....wait for it... their second largest epiphany of 2015!!!

The term leave it in God's Hands...or Wait on God to handle it...always left me feeling "less than hopeful" when it came to love and marriage mates. I guess I was more of the mind set to ...wait on God's forgiveness or approval... No. Buzzz....wrong. wait on God means just that. It's not like you'll miss it if it happens or long for it miserably if it doesn't happen...God is just not unkind like that...to ask you to be miserable while you wait on him....besides he'll let you know when it's time to act. It's GOD were talking about here....not some shady self serving sales person.
Wow. Okay but what about the old fear...but what if he decides I don't deserve anyone... Michelle!!! Slapping my own back of the head.  It's not about deserving as much as needing. .. what we want and what we need are two far flinging things... and hey getting what you want has worked out for you soooo well right...? NOT.
Sure you've had a little fun here and there but imagine had one of those goofballs really been the right one. Sure you got a little confused once but in retrospect you got some flags that you ignored one that guy too 'man of god'... hmph.

So imagine for a moment...a man.... no red flags... wow. My brain just almost exploded at just the thought of it. Call me all grown up now but I could seriously wait on that.

My only fear is that being resistant to using my "good sense" I will still make a whompum mistake but I think with prayer the flags will show and guess what...I'm just tired enough to see them now... call me a meany butt but I will see them and act accordingly - and promptly. I won't rudely just disappear as I'm seeing these crazy men are doing these days as they...apparently... see a red flag in me... but as these crazy men are doing with me... I too shall drop them like they are poison.

Wow...I know all this sounds so simple and people say they will wait on God all the time... but accepting that God may actually be telling me there will be no one for me and you will be happy... accepting that. .. that's huge for me. But I'm there ... I believe I'm finally there in my level of acceptance.