I THINK I just had an epiphany. I THINK I stepped away from my from faith because i got lazy. I got lazy and didn't want to work on the fruits of the spirit daily anymore. It's not easy to work on them DAILY... not even working on ONE at a time... it's hard work. When the world and it's craziness is falling in on your it's hard to exercise Love Joy Peace Faith Kindness Goodness Mildness Self Control and Long Suffering every day.
It's HARD and you get tired... because what you get back sometimes... even from your children is a bunch of a nothing... and when you DO get something back you just wanna hug it and squeeze and somehow convince yourself you DESERVE IT ... when in fact we DESERVE nothing... we don't. We are dirt and should work hard EVERYTHING for EVERYTHING we get... and be thankful to GOD that we got it...
People say... WHAT KIND OF GOD IS THAT... he's a JUST God and one that is loving and kind and generous...
No I didn't contradict myself ...
HE GIVES US EVERYTHING WE NEED... air, food, family, friends, life and the ability to enjoy it.
The least we can do is WORK for the rest...
WE are entitled to nothing more than what we NEED...
Think about our children... how long would you just let them suckle on your breast before you EXPECT some work out of them... 5 years 10 years 20 years...
MILK is for infants solid food is for grown folks.. and with that solid food comes WORK... gotta earn it.
LIFE is a struggle... A good one or a bad one.. it's up to.
But either way... I got whinny and tired and didn't want to struggle anymore. I didn't want to do my part and wait on what I NEED... for a while there what I NEEDED wasn't enough because I was so tired and lazy I began to see things out of proportion. I gave a little and wanted A LOT in return.
It just doesn't work like that.
So knowing this I have to reign in my thinking... quit all this belief in the cosmos and stars and universal powers etc... my belief is in a REAL God... who listens to prayers and grants me the RIGHT ONES... no matter what I reason or feel I deserve!
In the meantime... I need to continue to TRY to get along with world in which I've been place. STOP trying to get out of the work of forgiving, loving, understanding, teaching, preaching, worshiping... humbling myself to say I'm sorry when I REALLY DON"T THINK I DID ANYTHING WRONG... that's a toughy.
I need to just buck up and DO LIFE... I was born into a Christian family and I made a dedication to live a christian life and was baptized - I need to accept my OWN convictions.
I told someone that tonight... You should NEVER be sorry for your convictions. Well MICHELLE... back at cha. Stop regretting your convictions.
No comments:
Post a Comment